Teaching Young People to Practice Acts of Kindness

Being kind to other people and yourself is important for being a good friend and being happy. Modeling kindness, reflecting on kind actions, and practicing acts of kindness can help children develop this skill. This article includes strategies for helping children learn to be kind to other people and to themselves.

1. Be a Role Model – When adults say unkind things about other people or themselves, children learn this is acceptable behavior. Be a role model and say kind things about co-workers, neighbours, people in the community, and yourself.

2. Use Lists – Have children write lists or make collages representing what they like about their friends, family members, and people in the school. Hang the lists or art projects where classmates and friends can see them. Have a separate activity where children make a parallel list or art project that includes things they do well and why they are a good person.

3. Read and Write Stories – Read stories about kindness and respect in school and at home. Discuss how being kind makes the characters feel. Ask children to share times when they were kind and times when people were nice to them. Also encourage children to write stories about being kind to other people.

4. Practice and Discuss Small Acts of Kindness – In addition to having children write and say things that are kind, have them practice little acts of kindness. Teach children to help other people in day to day situations such as when someone needs help carrying an item, they can’t reach something, or they drop an item. Create a set of pictures or make short stories with opportunities for small acts of kindness. Encourage children to role play what they would do to be helpful in these situations.

5. Learning to Do Kind Things for Yourself – encourage children to write or create a collage about things they like to do or activities that make them feel good about themselves. Discuss how taking time to participate in these activities can make them feel better and decrease stress.

6. Pick a Cause or Charity – A long term investment in a volunteer or charity activity teaches children that even a small amount of time and energy makes a big difference. First create a list of volunteer opportunities then let the class or family select an activity to join. Whether it is collecting food for a food bank, donating toys, or cleaning up a community area, these activities demonstrate how working collaboratively with other people can make a big difference. Discuss or have children keep a journal about the experience. Ask them to include how they felt and how they think the people benefitting from their time and effort felt.

Helping Children Develop Friendships

Parents and professionals often struggle with helping children learn to be good friends or to understand the complexities of social interactions. Below are a number of strategies that can help children develop friendships.

1. Get Involved – Participate in community sports teams, art programs, and special events. These are wonderful opportunities for children to engage in structured activities with peers. For children with special needs, communities increasingly are offering camps and activities geared towards their specific needs. Ask professionals and support groups for information on these programs or check your community newspapers, centers, and websites. Another great activity, for children who benefit from very direct instruction, is social skills groups. These groups, which are offered in many communities, are a great way for children to develop their social skills in a fun yet structured environment.

2. Leverage the Child’s Interests – If the goal of enrolling a child in a program is to provide opportunities for making friends, look for activities the child enjoys. Some children like the arts while others enjoy sports. If a child is particularly shy, look for activities that initially have less direct contact. Tumbling and swimming are examples of individual sports while soccer and basketball involve more contact with peers. If children start in activities they enjoy, they are more likely to join other programs.

3. Role Play Difficult Skills – Practicing social skills is a way to work on specific aspects of social interactions. For example, if you notice your child stands too close to peers or repeatedly asks the same questions, help them learn about personal space or conversational skills through role play. By practicing these skills in the home, children can learn to improve their social skills and apply them outside the home.

4. Provide Examples – While reading books or watching television, explain social situations to children. Point out how helping others, using kind words, and listening when friends talk are ways to be a good friend. When characters are being hurtful or invading someone’s personal space, point these actions out and ask the child what the character could do differently to be a better friend.

5. Model Being Good to Others – Part of being well liked and being a good friend is being kind. Demonstrate kindness by saying nice things about and to others whether they are the grocery store employee or your neighbor. Point out when a co-worker does something thoughtful and how this makes you feel about them. If your child is sympathetic or says something complimentary, tell them their actions made you happy.

6. Do Not Force Friendships – Just like adults, children get along better with some peers than others. Teaching children to be kind and to include everyone in activities is important, but they do not have to be best friends with everyone.

Strategies for Returning to School after the Christmas Break

The transition from a break back to school can be difficult for children. Professionals and parents can make the return easier with a few simple strategies.

1. Review Classroom Rules and School Policies - One of the first things to do when children return to school is to review all of the classroom and school rules. Time spent focusing on classroom structure and schedules can reduce problems later. Remind children of expectations for how to treat classmates, complete work, and follow schedules. Remind children of any reward system and let them know where rules are displayed and who to ask if there are questions about the rules.

2. Introduce Any Changes – Clearly explain any changes that have happened since the break. Examples are staff changes, schedule changes, or even room arrangements that may surprise children. Be sure to indicate how the change affects them. Introducing changes helps prepare children and reduce stress related to new situations.

3. Let Children Play a Role – Children can help review the rules by participating in activities. For example, they can help create a new rules poster by writing or drawing examples of how to follow the rules. Another activity is to assign a rule or school policy to small groups of students and have them write and perform a short play about it. By participating in the process children are reviewing and taking ownership in the rules.

4. Review and Reinforce Repeatedly – Children can be very excited to see friends and be back in school. Be sure to set time aside to review rules repeatedly the first few days back after a break. Children may need extra reminders in written or picture format if they have a hard time remembering specific rules. When children are doing a good job completing work, following a schedule, or acting appropriately, reinforce their behaviour. Clearly indicate what they did correctly so they can continue the behaviour. For example, “James, I like the way you remembered to raise your hand to get my attention.”

5. Keep Everyone Informed – Parents and professionals should make each other aware of changes in settings so children have consistent support and understanding across environments. Professionals should send a set of classroom and school rules home for parents to review with children and prepare them for returning from break. Parents also should be aware of any significant school policy changes or classroom changes. Parents should keep professionals informed of any significant changes at home such as health issues, sleeping changes, or family difficulties that may affect how the child performs in school. Information sharing can ensure children have the understanding and support they need between environments.

Strategies for Challenging Christmas Situations

Christmas can be very difficult for children. This article focuses on three challenging areas families face during Christmas: giving and receiving gifts, managing Christmas excitement, and understanding routine changes.

1. Gift Giving and Receiving – The excitement of getting gifts can be overwhelming for children. Help them understand polite giving and receiving of gifts with these strategies.

Involve Children in Giving – Let children help pick out and wrap gifts. By participating in the gift giving process, children become interested in seeing other people’s reaction to the gift. Even young children can choose between two gifts, put a bow or tape on the wrapping paper, and decide where the gift should go under the tree.

Practice Receiving – Role play receiving a gift and thanking someone for it. Make writing thank you cards part of your family routine so children understand how to thank people politely for presents.

2. Christmas Energy – Christmas events often mean sweet foods and late bedtimes. Use the strategies below to manage energy levels and make bedtime successful.

Keep Children Active – Sledging, walking, and playing games outside during the day can help children use their energy in a healthy and positive way. Keep children active during the day so they will be tired at night making bedtime easier.

Limit Sweets – Sweet, biscuits and fizzy pop are prevalent during Christmas. These foods are high in sugar and caffeine. They cause children to be overly active and make falling asleep difficult. Set rules about how much and when these foods can be consumed and provide healthy alternatives.

Stay on a Sleep Routine – Even when children are not in school, a consistent sleep routine is important. Have children wake up and go to bed at a regular time. Plan morning events such as Christmas shopping to motivate children to wake up and get ready for the day.

3. Christmas Routine Changes – Many children benefit from consistent routines and have difficulty with change. Make Christmas routine changes less stressful with these simple tips.

Use Visuals – Have a Christmas calendar that lists events in writing, drawing, or picture format depending on the child’s level. Refer to the calendar to prepare children for the day’s events and help them understand what is going on and when.

Involve Children – Let children add new events to the calendar. If there are important events the family must attend, explain why attending is important. If there are events that are debatable, include children’s input in decisions about attending the event.

Data Protection? Child Protection?

Please find below a real email conversation between a Parent and a Head Teacher. It begs the question; Where will it all end?

Please note, any personal data has been removed (irony discuss). We welcome your views.



> Good morning,
> I've just phoned asking if my children could have a class list each as they are planning a little party, also they will soon be writing Christmas cards. I was told that it couldn't be done due to data protection. What data? We know all this information anyway. We just don't want to miss anybody out. Obviously [child in reception] in particular is likely to forget quite a few.
>
> Please tell me this is a mistake. We ask every year and have never been refused before. As I said, there is no data required, just a list of names.
>
> Thank you
>
> Mr YYY

> Good morning Mr YYY,
>
> I am sorry however we will not be giving out class lists. We do not publish class lists in line with school policy which has been reviewed. Some parents do not want their child's information passed on and we also cannot guarantee how information will be used or disposed of.
>
> I am sure you will understand that we have to take every step to ensure the safety of our children and that information is held and used in line with data protection.
>
> Kind regards
>
> Mrs Xxx
>
Dear Mrs Xxx,
I'm sorry, I'm honestly not trying to be difficult, I just don't understand.

I understand that child protection and data protection issues are crucially important. I also understand that people do not like their private details being passed on, although I find it difficult to believe that parents do not want their children's names to be known. What I don't understand is that this is information we already have. All the children know each other's names. Indeed, as a parent of three children at Unnamed School, I know a large amount of children's names. In addition to this, a teacher will, as part of their twice daily routine and legal requirements take a register using the children's names. If we work hard enough on this at home we can compile a Christmas card list and party invitation list from our collective memories.

I'm not asking you to change your mind, we can manage party invitations and Christmas cards by ourselves. However, I would like to make it clear that we do not require any sensitive information, or indeed any information that isn't given out by teachers twice a day to the other children. In fact, we didn't even need surnames.

This is a ludicrously over protective policy which serves only to further the division between school and families and create a lack of community ethos. I have been into assemblies in your school and heard you refer to yourselves as a family. This policy is neither family or community friendly. One has to ask where will this end, should we remove names from coat pegs, perhaps we should blur out the faces on class photos and school website images, perhaps we could give the children numbers instead of names. I note with interest that the school newsletter now only uses first names and initial surname letter (unless of course it is the y4 boys). Perhaps, in line with what appears to be your school policy you could supply a list of names in this format so that children are not overlooked. Incidentally, the school newsletter lacks identity and has no feeling of personality.

My request was intended to save us a little time, ironically it has achieved the exact opposite. More importantly however, it was intended to ensure that we included all the children in our children's classes.

Wishing you very best wishes

Mr YYY

Effective Communication between Home and School: Ideas for Parents and Professionals

Parents, teachers, and support staff all have the same goal, a child’s learning, but sometimes communication breakdowns cause inefficiency and disagreement in accomplishing this goal. This article includes ideas for establishing communication systems to make this the best and most effective year yet.

1. Communicate Early – Communicate early either in written form or through a conversation at the beginning of the school year. Early communication sets the stage for year long collaboration by establishing a system and setting expectations.
Professionals – Let parents know classroom expectations, schedules, important dates, and contact information for other professionals working with their child. A classroom information sheet with a handwritten note is a friendly way to start the year.
Parents – Be sure you provide current records and updated information (e.g. phone number and email address) to teachers and therapists. Include any other important information in a letter or email so the professional can refer to it during the year.

2. Have a Consistent System – Establish a communication system that works for both professionals and families. Some people communicate well over email while others like to have printed information in a folder or notebook. Discuss which method works best and stick with it. Providing information back and forth is important for consistency across environments. Use communication systems to discuss how strategies are working and what changes might be helpful.
Professionals – For regular communication use a format that is accessible to all families. For example, have a newsletter or regularly updated website. Include an area in the newsletter for handwritten child-specific comments. Another idea for smaller classrooms is to have daily notes or a journal to send back and forth between school and home. Communication encourages a running dialogue and often results in new information that can translate into effective classroom results.
Parents – Keep professionals up to date about home progress as well as any physical (e.g. child isn’t sleeping well) or emotional (e.g. a pet passed away) changes at home. Often times a child’s personal experiences affect their behaviour and academics. Use the teacher’s preferred communication method (email, note, phone) so they receive the information in a timely fashion.

3. Be Positive – Notes, phone calls, and emails frequently are used for negative rather than positive communication. This can create a situation where parents and professionals prefer not to hear from each other. Keep positive news part of updates. Be sure to highlight progress in difficult areas and note when the child is making progress on a skill. Compliment the other person’s hard work and note when a child is accomplishing goals due to work in other environments.

4. Understand Limitations – People balance professional and personal lives and it is important to respect their time. Busy professionals want updates and information on children, but parents should recognise professionals work with many children. Parents want to work on skills with their child, but they may be busy, need additional resources, or not clearly understand why something is being done. Communicate, have patience, and remember everyone has the same goal.

Ways to Make Day Trips Less Stressful

Set expectations - Be sure to let children know what to expect. Clearly tell them, “We are going to the doctor. We will wait in the office and then Dr. Smith will see you. I will be with you if you are afraid or have any questions.” If you are doing more than one thing, let the child know, “We are going to the supermarket, the post office, and then the park.”

Provide support for the child to be successful - Some children benefit from having information in writing or in a drawing format. Reading stories in advance that discuss what is going to happen can reduce anxiety. Images from stories including social Stories provide a way for children to see what is expected of them. Use illustrations and/or words during an event to reassure children.

Involve children in planning the day - Often children are told what to do and have little ownership in decisions. Letting children make a few choices in an outing helps them feel they are a part of the process. For example, let the child pick which errand the family does first.

Praise children for a job well done - As you go through the day, be sure to reinforce children for listening, following directions, and being kind to others. This shows children they get more attention for following the rules and routines than for breaking them.

Update children regarding timetable changes - Schedule changes are likely to happen on a regular basis. When changes occur, let children know what the change is and how it will affect their plans. For example, “James, the library is not open. We will still go to Aunt Jen’s but we will go to the library tomorrow.”

Plan for delays - Rarely do things go exactly as planned. Prepare for basic concerns such as hunger, boredom, and delays by packing snacks and portable activities like games or books. Make sure to have a back up plan if restaurants or shops are busy.

Let children be involved - Children are less likely to break rules if they are busy. When you are shopping get the children to help you locate items. If you are in the doctor’s surgery get the child to help you fill out the forms by eliciting their responses to simple questions like name, address, etc.

Be consistent - If you create a reward system where the child earns something for doing X, Y, and Z or a promise is made for the child to get something after going to the shops, be consistent. If you say, “You get to play your game when we get home if ….” be sure to reinforce them only if they actually accomplished their goal. When children are given mixed messages about rewards, the inconsistency can lead them to expect rewards when they have not met their end of the deal. Although it may be difficult at first, children will quickly learn you mean what you say if you hold your ground.